Joxer Just Got Ravished by a Blonde Girl
by Tricia Stewart (written 12-09-2000 )
(To the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" Randy Brooks, 1977 [originally sung by Dr. Elmo])
Sung by Autolycus
[AUTOLYCUS]
Joxer just got ravished by a blonde girl
Walking from the campsite Solstice Eve
You can say there's no such thing as true love
But as for me an' Xena, we believe
He'd been singing much too loudly.
Gabby yelled at him to shush,
Tweaked his nose in sheer frustration,
So he staggered off and said he'd had enough.
When Xena found him Solstice morning
At the scene of the attack
He was smirking in his slumber
An incriminating Blonde draped 'cross his back.
Joxer just got ravished by a blonde girl
Walking from the campsite Solstice Eve
You can say there's no such thing as true love
But as for me an' Xena, we believe
Now we're all happy for Joxer
And Xena's taking this so well.
Watching Joxer smiling sweetly,
As he snuggles his beloved Gabrielle.
It's a perfect Solstice for them,
As they lay there in the sack.
But we just can't help but wonder
Should we wake them up or
or should we just go back?
[XENA]
Let's go back!
[AUTOLYCUS]
Joxer just got ravished by a blonde girl
Walking from the campsite Solstice Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as true love,
But as for me an' Xena, we believe.
Jox and Gab are now together
Sleeping blissful as can be
And I just can't help but notice
There's a Warrior Princess stripping next to me
You know what they say of Solstice
Heartfelt wishes can come true
As I lay here holding Xena
I know even for a thief indeed they do
[JOXER]
Sing it, Auto!
[AUTOLYCUS]
Joxer just got ravished by a blonde girl
Walking from the campsite Solstice Eve
You can say there's no such thing as true love
But as for me an' Xena, we believe
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